Is it natural to feel ashamed or humiliated? Yes, of course it is natural, it is human. What can we do about it? Well, first it is important to recognize it and acknowledge that everybody experiences these emotions- yes, everybody. But they are not one and the same, there is some difference between them, giving shame the opportunity to be the worst among them.
Here is a very oversimplified way to differentiate these very complex emotions by our own thoughts or beliefs:
“I am bad” (shame)
“I did something bad” (guilt)
“I deserve this” (shame)
“I don’t deserve this” (humiliation)
All of the above may result from one same situation lived by different people and vary according to each person’s previous experiences. The same event may cause humiliation for someone and also cause deep damaging shame for another. This is important because humiliation fades away but shame remains.
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging”(Brené Brown).
I wanted to write about this topic so badly but it was so hard to comprise it in only a few words. The reason I wanted to mention this so badly is because we all know that a bully wants to instill shame upon their victims because they areoverflowed by it themselves, but I have known for a while now that we can be our own worst bully! Please be sure not to be bullying yourself into shame, because we only live once and shame stops you from living.
Choose to be kind and grateful.