Our health is a reflection of how we talk to ourselves. It took me decades to reach this conclusion. I’m not talking about all diseases but about the mind-body stress relationship that causes an array of different symptoms even when we are “oficially” not sick via testing or a doctor’s diagnosis.

Why did it take me so long? Because first I had to re-learn that we are a whole (spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, psychological beings) and that you cannot take care of just one part of yourself and discard the others as less important. I say re-learn because we once were whole, just take a look at small children. That was before we learned to suppress feelings, emotions, pleasure in experiences  and thoughts.

We are part of a collective and  cultural subconscious. Once, Freud introduced the idea of an unconcious which guides each of us in a unique way, but this idea was incomplete. Then, Jung established the collective unconscious but the third unconscious, the cultural, together with the collective are, in my opinion, an equally powerful influence in the way we behave, the way we “should be”, the way we feel and the way we talk to ourselves.

Sometimes, (sometimes-most of the time, sometimes-seldom) we speak to ourselves in a way we will never dare speak to others. The negative self talk that continuously feeds our lives produces an almost imperceptible but chronic level of stress in our bodies that we either don’t notice anymore or try by all means to push aside and silence. It is until our bodies scream with symptoms like tension, anxiety, fatigue, no eating, binge eating, headaches, insomnia that we may begin to pay attention.

Shame, feelings of not being good enough, of not being loveable are constantly fueled by the pressure we create in our inner world by negative self talk.  This stress definitely affects our overall health: the way we feel, the way we eat and sleep, but mainly it affects the way we metabolize.

It is not easy. It takes months, persistence and baby steps to realize that the way we talk to ourselves is so powerful that our health depends on it. To realize that you can be your best positive influence or the worst self-abuser forces oneself to choose which path to follow: nourishment and peace or self destruction.

I made the choice long ago: baby steps, persistence and patience to change the neurological patterns and connections that such negative self-talk had strengthened. Practicing self-compassion, self-care and being open to constantly evolve through new tools have been the way to peace, true healing and health.

Choose to be kind and grateful.

Image from the internet.



  1. This is amazing. I had a therapist one time ask me to list the things I say about myself during a day. I was shocked to discover the oodles of negativity I sent to myself.


    1. I agree. It is a huge undertaking and it seems to be a forever battle with its ups and downs, but as you say, with immeasurable results in which every tiny bit of improvement could be a life changer.


  2. Reblogged this on like a fleeting wind… and commented:
    In the last five months, I cannot count on my figures how many times my friend told me, “Christiana you are too hard on yourself” or my mother reminded me, “You think too much and dwell on things too much.”

    Self-talk … Negative self-talk is a real thing. I’m my worst enemy sometimes. Especially in times of change when I have to make decisions that seem impossible to make. Where the next step looks hazy and I just someone to make my decisions for me.

    There’s a lot of truth in the piece below. Give it a shot if you tend to talk negatively to yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you very much for the reblog. I’m glad you found truth in what I wrote.
    What you comment completely resonates with me, which is one of the main reasons I wanted to write about the subject.

    Liked by 1 person

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